Care tag exercise

This exercise looks simple but it’s surprisingly helpful for all age groups and would be ideal to do in a family setting or with a group of friends. The care tag exercise helps us better communicate to others what we are feeling and what we need from them when we feel that way. We usually assume that others know us well enough to know what we want, but that’s not always true.

Unlike our clothes, we don’t come with care instructions, so others may not know exactly how to take care of us. And how we deal with emotions may not be how our friends do. Everyone expresses difficult feelings differently: some people cry when they are sad, some shut down and some get angry. And people want or need different things when they feel certain emotions. When feeling sad, some people may want to be left alone, others want to talk and some may want a hug. We can’t assume that others know what we are feeling or that they know what we need from them.

The care tag exercise has three lines to complete:

When I ….. this is for a behaviour, action or situation (eg become silent or receive bad news)

I am feeling …. the emotion/feeling (eg tired or upset)

and I need …. what you prefer at these times (eg time alone or a hug)

If you can’t be sure that you could accurately fill in a tag for someone else, chances are that they can’t be sure of your care needs either. Communication is key to getting our needs met.